Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Becoming Daring-Part Deux

Hello Lovelies,

In this post we'll continue our discussion of "backdoor" play - one of the most frequently addressed topics we find our visitors are interested in. And once again, I'm going to borrow from the nicely condensed pamphlet we received from our friends at O'My. If you are interested in learing more than we can safely cover in this here l'il blog, we recommend:

Getting Started
To practice positive anal play with fingers, toys, or a penis, there are several steps to follow. By taking the time to understand how to participate in anal sex that is pleasurable, these five measures need to be considered:

  1. Relaxtion: The anus is not as responsive as the vagina. Since muscle spasms can occur, it is important to be relaxed when engaging the anus. Taking a hot bath or getting an erotic massage can help. Massaging the area around the anus is a good place to start. Once the body is relaxed, toys can be used.

  2. Lubrication: The anus does not produce its own lubrication, even when a woman is at the height of her pleasure. Using lubricant is essential to practicing anal sex. Apply lubricant liberally beforehand.

  3. Timing: Make sure you have plenty of time when you are engaging in anal play. the body may take a while to relax. Communication between partners about expectations is very important. Only use toys when the tip is well lubricated. By monitoring the receiving partner's responses, it will be easy to gauge their level of comfort and pleasure.

  4. Cleanliness: The rectum only stores feces prior to a bowel movement, however
    small amounts may remain in the rectum afterwards. Anal douching before a partner uses their hand is certainly an option. The best method of keeping toys
    is to use a condom and to clean the toy thoroughly afterwards. Wash several times with soap and water, then air dry and store.

  5. Safe sex: Use condoms and lubricant. Never apply force when using toys. Do
    not share toys with partners.


Becoming Daring

Hello Lovelies,

Each day we field lots of questions from BE visitors, just like you, who are looking for guidance in selecting a great first toy. We also hear a lot of questions about the mysterious "backdoor" play. I had a particularly interesting discussion yesterday with a woman who chose BE's Live Help feature to ask her questions about anal play. Her questions were right in keeping with the majority of questions we hear on the subject, so I thought this forum would be a good place to touch on some of what we discussed. There's a lot to cover - even as a surface discussion - so I'll post some today and share more info tomorrow.
Oh, and the little guy up there smiling at you? That's Flexi Felix - a fantastic strand of anal beads that are ideal for beginner or expert anal play.

Once again, our friends at O'My have done a great job of condensing some general information on anal sex for beginners. Funny enough, they titled their discussion "Doing What's Daring" - you'll find BE's anal toys in our BE Daring category! Great minds think alike!

Doing What's Daring
Anal Sex for Beginners
Research indicates that up to 50% of women have tried anal sex at least once during their life. For many of these women, their first experience was less than desirable. Contrary to vaginal sex, if anal sex is uncomfortable or painful the first time, most women will not try again.

The anus has a rich body of nerve endings, which can be found around the rim and inside the anus. Women who enjoy anal sex have discovered how stimulating these nerve endings can bring increased pleasure.

butt plugs have ben designed for beginners and are a great way to experience anal play for the first time. Toys need to have a flared base with a graduated tip to facilitate use. Both manul and vibrating toys help women become comfortable with the sensations they feel while exploring anal play.

Learn more in Tristan Taormino's The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women or Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Anal Sex (DVD)


Monday, August 27, 2007

Personal Touch

Hello Lovelies, How can one desk have so much paper on it? I vowed to feng shui my office this week and it's working already! I'm beginning with getting rid of clutter so that I can usher in new productive energy. Out with the old, in with the new!

And while I've been decluttering and feng shui-ing, I've unearthed loads of interesting materials from some of BE's favorite manufacturers. Earlier I posted some information about Female Sexual Dysfunction and possible remedies, written by our Canadian neighbors at O'My. Now I've come across a lovely bit about loving yourself, and self-discovery. Read on for tonight's pleasurable thoughts, courtesy of O'My, because really they've said it way better than I could!


Touching oneself can be very sensual and exciting - a true act of self-love and fulfillment. When a woman explores her own body, her core pleasure zones come alive. These zones change with awareness and age.

Self-pleasuring can be a great way to release stress and tension while giving the body a quick pick-me-up. It's like sending a message to the brain that says, "You're one hot sexy mama, and I'm going to make you feel fantastic!"

Personal Touch

Unfortunately, many women have some negative feelings associated with their bodies. The media constantly glamorized and promotes youth, beauty and being thin. How do women of all shapes and sizes get past this media blast to fully enjoy their bodies?

Start by getting to know what pleases you. Through self-pleasuring, each of us learns what feels good and what doesn't, and for everyone, this is a very personal process. Until we are connected with our own bodily pleasures, it is difficult for us to communicate our sexual desires to others.

Clitoral Stimulation
Clitoral stimulation is the most common form of self-pleasure. There are infinite techniques that can be used to stimulate the clitoris - everything from kegeling (tensing the pelvic muscles and then releasing) to using a vibrating toy.

Some women can achieve orgasm through simple pelvic movements without the aid of lubricants or toys, however, most women need either direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris to climax. Since only 50% of women experience orgasms most to all of the time, lubricants, toys, and stimulating gels can be very helpful.

It's rare that women have time in their busy lives to play all day. For moms, their only private time may be 10 to 15 minutes behind a closed door. Using
fantasy and a bottle of lubricant kept in the bathroom, bedroom or purse gives you the opportunity to be spontaneous when the moment strikes.


What is Female Sexual Dysfunction?

Hello Lovelies,

If you're like me, you've probably been hearing a lot about "Female Sexual Dysfunction." And since I am not a physician, I can't really speak to the medical reasons as to why one woman might feel a loss of sexual interest and another woman doesn't. What I can say is that we are all different, and if you think you suffer from an organic medically based reason for a lack of sexual interest, then don't hesitate to contact your physician. These days medical professionals have so many ways to address your specific issue, and they can provide some mental, emotional, and physical relief if you have been wondering about where you sit on the "normal" scale.

Here are some facts as provided by our good friends at O'My:

Female Sexual Dysfunction or Dissatisfaction: defined by urologists, behavioral
scientists and psychologists as a loss of interest in sex and the inability to
become aroused or achieve orgasm when participating in sex. Sexual
dissatisfaction is a symptomatic intimacy problem in which one or both partners
fail to communicat their needs.

More facts from O'My:
  • 43% of women suffer from some type of sexual dysfunction

  • Most commonly occurs in premenopausal women 25-50

  • Long-term medical diseases, minor ailments, medications and psychosocial difficulties are factors that can impact a woman's ability to achieve orgasm

  • Often linked to depression and/or physical pain

O'My suggests:


Saturday, August 25, 2007

Valley Girls + Boys

Hello Lovelies,

So there I was working on our new lingerie selections with my favorite Web gals, with my favorite radio station KCRW quietly entertaining us in the background. And then I heard it! A fantastic piece about the Valley - the San Fernando Valley in particular - which just happens to the worldwide headquarters of Boudoir Essentials.

There are some interesting little factoids about the SFV throughout the piece, and I thought it was a fun listen. It's the place Bob Hope called "home" for decades, as well as the adult film capital of the world. The latter giving Jay Leno the notion that the Valley rechristen itself Pornadelphia. ;)



Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Sexy Seniors + Dr. Ruth

Hello Lovelies,

This just in: Dr. Ruth - who graces the Boudoir Essentials tips section - was interviewed on NBC Nightly News regarding a recent New England Journal of Medicine study that measured sexual activity among senior citizens. Turns out that our grandparents are almost as frisky as the general population. Good news for all of us going forward. Click below to see the full story as reported by Brian Williams.